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Love Was

by Nick Teale

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1.
Love Was 03:35
Love was the red sun risin' Some far-off dream beyond the great horizon And love was the prize for winnin' Always takin', takin' and there ain't no givin' Love was the right to which all heroes laid their claim Not understanding but they chased it all the same Love was everything and it was nothing too But now I know, now I know Now I know that love is you Love was the dream ethereal It was just the prize in a box of Cheerios And love was the goal I'm reachin' Always failin', failin' so what am I achievin'? Love was more precious than silver, more than gold So give your money now and buy what you've been sold Love was a lie to bring us closer to what's true But now I know, now I know Now I know that love is you Love is doing all I can To see you smile as I take your hand No conditions, no controls Just to feel your warmth ignite my soul Won't you light it on fire Won't you light it on fire Won't you light it on fire Love was the primal passion So why's it always seem to be a slave to fashion? And love was the ultimatum Now or never never gonna stop it fadin' Why even bother tryin' to put it into words? Defined by someone else it all sounds so absurd Love is a force I can't pretend I ever knew All I know, all I know All I know is I love you
2.
Do I still make you happy? Am I still a good friend to you? Why am I asking questions I already know the answer to? You’re always there beside me But I only end up wanting more I wouldn't say I love you If I thought that I could let you go You help me through my trials in spite of my selfish ways But still I always find I yearn for those better days You’re always busy working I’ve got nothing but time to kill You’ve got your life together And I don’t know if I ever will Time and again I’ve fallen In a void of insecurity How can I say I love you With a heart so full of jealousy? I shared your struggles knowing you would do the same But I can’t burden you with all my guilt and shame You always told me I was more than you deserved Why can’t I let you be more than I deserve I know you’d understand me When I tell you that my world is gray That never was the issue Just my pride keeps getting in the way I know you’d never tell me The reality we know is true Each failure makes it clearer I was never good enough for you You shouldn’t have to suffer my insanity Just like you told me, “it’s not you, it’s only me” You always told me I was more than you deserved I reached out to you like I knew you would in turn I was your rock but now the tables all have turned Why can’t I let you be more than I deserve
3.
She’s the one who gets my sense of humor She’s a weirdo just like me And every time I look into my future She’s the one that I always see We’re cooking baklava and holding hands And making jokes you wouldn’t understand And all the while I hear a voice inside (Yeah) a voice inside that says (Chorus) Don’t let her know, don’t let her see Just how she always tortures me You know that she won’t feel the same My foolish heart’s the one to blame She’ll break you down just like before But I just can’t hide it anymore It’s burning too hot to ignore She’s the one who always wants to play me In Smash Bros and laser tag And every time she can totally slay me But you know that it ain’t no drag We’re at the park sitting out on the bench Singing Billy Joel and talking in French But all I hear is the voice inside (Yeah) the voice inside that says (Chorus) Don’t try to lecture me, I know this isn’t right I should just let her go and move on with my life And if I lost her now some part of me would die But I can’t hide it, I can’t keep it all inside Don’t let her know, don’t let her see Just how she always tortures me You know that she won’t feel the same My foolish heart’s the one to blame She’ll break you down just like before But I just can’t hide it anymore It’s burning too hot to ignore You're the one I'm longing for
4.
Coffee Shop 03:32
I'm sitting in this coffee shop Lonely hours fly I think about her night and day No matter how I try And all the time we shared runs through my mind Till it drives me insane I thought that we were riding high I thought our love was strong But now my heart feels empty Though I know that she's not gone And I would beg forgiveness if I could But there's no one to blame (Chorus) How can I be your man? Help me to understand Tell me what else I can do How can I let you go? Help me to end this woe All I can think of is you So now I sit here dead inside But I can't shed a tear I never could forgive myself If I made her disappear The only cure is to embrace the love That she gives as a friend And everybody's got advice On how to win her love They always seem to think romance Is all I'm dreaming of I tell them off but sometimes I don't know If it's real or pretend (Chorus)
5.
Every time I hear your voice on the telephone There are just four words I long to hear I know you love me too and someday you’ll make it known I know soon your love will conquer fear Till then I’ll wait for you, long as you want me to Until you say I do to me Darling you are my kind, so long as you don’t mind Unto your heart I’ll find the key because Ignorance is bliss, that’s what all the wise men say And love it’s you I miss, every night and every day Ignorance is bliss when a boy's in love with a girl And when I’m with you I’m the happiest man in the world Every time I’m with you I reach to hold your hand Hoping that someday you’ll reach for mine Your face tells me you’re happy to have a loving man I know you’ll return my love in time Till then I’ll wait for you, long as you want me to Until you say I do to me Darling you are my kind, so long as you don’t mind Unto your heart I’ll find the key because Ignorance is bliss, that’s what all the wise men say But just remember this: my love is here to stay Ignorance is bliss when a boy's in love with a girl And when I’m with you I’m the happiest man in the world Then one day you held my hand in your tenderness Said you loved me too, but as a friend Said you didn’t know if it could be more than this Seems to me we’re halfway to the end Till then I’ll wait for you, just like I always do Until you say adieu to me Darling you are my kind, so long as you don’t mind Unto your heart I’ll find the key because Ignorance is bliss, that’s what all the wise men say And though it's all amiss, I know you'll be back someday Ignorance is bliss when a boy's in love with a girl And darling, when I’m with you I’m the happiest man in the world Ignorance is bliss, that’s what all the wise men say So give me one last kiss now before you go away Ignorance is bliss when a boy's in love with a girl And when I’m with you I’m the happiest man in the world
6.
Cross 03:41
Once upon a time you were the hand that I could hold And I was the rock you laid your head upon And still your hand is warm but my heart has gone stone cold Cause I know the love we shared is dead and gone We burned out like a cigarette And now your love is just my Nicorette It’s never enough, but I can’t give it up And I’ll take every drop I can get Cause I need you now To heal the loneliness inside The thoughts of worthlessness and shattered pride I need to know you’re there, to know you’ll always care But I know it’s not fair, it’s not your cross to bear More than just a lover, you’ve been my closest friend And I know that you are still And I will always cherish you until the bitter end Like I know you always will But I’ll no longer be the reason why Your face turns rosy as you close your eyes Cause I’m never enough, but please don’t give me up You’re all that I need to survive Cause I need you now To heal the loneliness inside The thoughts of worthlessness and shattered pride I need to know you’re there, to know you’ll always care But I know it’s not fair, it’s not your cross to bear And I know you wouldn’t mind And I know you’d find the time To console and reassure me of my worth You’d be there for me I know And it only goes to show You were always so much more than I deserved Cause I need you now To heal the scars you left behind The fear and jealousy that’s come alive I need to know you’re there, to know you’ll always care But I know it’s not fair, it’s not your cross to bear

about

After the end of a recent relationship, I wrote these songs as an attempt to explore broader themes of insecurity, denial, depression, and toxic masculinity, all compounded by the isolation and financial frustrations brought on by a global pandemic. Special thanks to Austin Talbert for mixing and mastering these songs; to Alex Souleyrette for the album art and upcoming music video; and to all my friends and family who had input into the font choices for the album cover!

credits

released January 17, 2021

Words and music by: Nick Teale
Guitar, saz, vocals, bass (Love Was): Nick Teale
Mixing, recording, mastering, and virtual instruments: Austin Talbert
Album art and music video: Alex Souleyrette

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Nick Teale Louisville, Kentucky

I'm a Louisville singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist performing across a wide range of styles. Genre doesn't matter to me as long as I can communicate a message of empathy, kindness, compassion, and understanding.

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